Episode 5

"A Most Deep-Pan Perplexity" 

If Shakespeare Ordered Pizza in Chennai

Our time-traveling playwright, William Shakespeare, now in the vibrant city of Chennai, finds himself with a rumbling stomach. He's heard tell of a wondrous foodstuff called "pizza," delivered right to one's very doorstep. Intrigued, he decides to try this modern marvel using a local "food delivery app" on his trusty (if somewhat begrudgingly accepted) smartphone.

He navigates the app, his brow furrowed at the colourful pictures of circular concoctions topped with various intriguing items.

Shakespeare (to himself): "A 'paneer tikka' pizza? What manner of spiced cheese is this? And 'butter chicken' upon a bread? The culinary arts have taken a most curious turn!"

He eventually settles on something called a "Margherita" – it sounds vaguely familiar to a character in one of his plays, so it must be somewhat traditional. He clicks the button to order.

A few minutes later, his phone buzzes with a notification.

App: Your order will be delivered by "Ramesh" in approximately 30 minutes.

Shakespeare ponders. "Ramesh... a name most unfamiliar to the chronicles of English history. I trust he is a dependable fellow."

True to the app's word, about half an hour later, there's a knock on the door. Shakespeare opens it to find a young man with a cheerful smile holding a colourful box.

"Order for William?" Ramesh asks, with a slight tilt of his head.

"Indeed!" Shakespeare exclaims, reaching for his wallet. "What is the toll for this… disc of delight?"

Ramesh tells him the price in rupees. Shakespeare, still getting to grips with the local currency, counts out the notes carefully.

As he takes the box, a delicious aroma wafts up. "By the heavens!" he declares. "What fragrant spices doth this contain?"

Ramesh grins. "Just cheese and tomatoes, sir. It's a classic!"

Shakespeare carries the pizza inside and opens the box. He stares at the melted cheese and red tomato sauce with a mixture of fascination and confusion.

Shakespeare: "Verily, it resembles a… sun-baked shield. But what manner of bread is this, so thin and crisp?"

He picks up a slice, the cheese stretching in a most peculiar fashion. He cautiously takes a bite.

His eyes widen. "Hark!" he cries. "A most unexpected flavour! Tangy tomato, creamy… what manner of dairy art is this?"

He takes another bite, a look of surprised enjoyment spreading across his face.

Just then, his phone buzzes again with a notification from the delivery app.

App: How was your experience with Ramesh? Please rate your delivery.

Shakespeare looks at the empty pizza box (he found it surprisingly easy to devour the entire "disc"). He then thinks back to the polite young man who brought him this strange and wonderful food.

Shakespeare (to his phone): "Rate Ramesh? Hmm..."

He taps the screen, a thoughtful expression on his face. He decides to leave a glowing review, albeit in his own distinct style.

Shakespeare (typing): "Good Master Ramesh was swift and courteous in his delivery of this most curious comestible. The 'pizza,' a flatbread adorned with molten cheese and a tangy red sauce, was a culinary adventure most unexpected and surprisingly delightful. Five stars for Ramesh, and four stars for the 'pizza' itself – its construction perplexes me still, but its flavour doth please!"

He submits his review, a small smile playing on his lips. Perhaps this modern world wasn't entirely devoid of wonders after all, especially when those wonders involved melted cheese on bread delivered directly to his Chennai abode.

Join us next time, when Shakespeare attempts to navigate the chaotic traffic of Chennai on a… scooter!